Sunday, August 2, 2009

Chennai and my Nostalgia - A pessimistic to an optimistic outlook!!

I was living in Chennai from my birth to my 12th standard. I had to go out of the city around 130 kms for my BE under graduation. That is where my nostalgia started. That is where my sickness started. When I said 130 kms - it was Trichy. I used to come to Chennai every one week or at the most 2 weeks. I thought it was long.

Though I got lot of things outside my city Chennai, I started missing lot of things, as soon I went out of my city. I was a book worm and academics guy until my 12th standard, but when I went to trichy for my Bachelors, I became a free person.

I got independence from what was told to do. I got independence, but I started to miss lot of things in my life. I could not get the same stuff and feel in any other city, as I get in my city. I missed my Chennai from that time. I missed my mom's food. I didn't see any match to that. I started eating outside. I started to smoke, drink, friends, night show movies, but still I missed my place.

I got placed in a bangalore company and still worse. It is a good thing to get a job, but still I was going slowly away from my place Chennai. As I grow in my career and improve myself in my life, I started to go outside my city Chennai. Is it always like that - to go away from my city, when we grow and improve? Is it like that for everyone?

I had to move to Hyderabad from Bangalore, which is now further away from Chennai. In fact, I was able to come to Chennai from Bangalore atleast by an overnight journey. I used to visit Chennai from Bangalore once in a month - that is to kill my nostalgia and still I was happy to do that.

This hyderabad thing was much worse. I cannot come to Chennai just like that. I had to come to Chennai first by an overnight train and then from Chennai I had to come to Chennai in another train. How painful journey?!

First I was just 3-4 hours journey, then it became 10-12 hours journey and then it became 20-24 hours journey by train/bus. So far fair enough!!

After that came an important opportunity in my life. I got an opportunity in United States! Well - it is again the same journey time as my last thing, but this one frequency of travel would differ right?, because this is expensive.

Initially I thought it was only 4 months trip, but that became a longer term stay in America and I could not forego any opportunity in America and that took me far away from my dear city Chennai!!

From that time, I have been in US for quite a while - I have lived in Kansas, NY/NJ, Virginia (Washington DC) and now in California! It is been 5 years I am in US!

Another problem I foresee is - if I get more and more opportunity in America and my child gets better future here in America, will I still go deep into the mess of nostalgia by going further away from my city and country?

Can I still be in a great position, by staying in Chennai only? If my daughter stays in United States and then I take my family back to Chennai - will my daughter get into this mess of nostalgia because of me - by thinking about America, when we move to India?

I am sure lot of people are going through this!!

Anyway - all of the above is more pessimistic outlook - I see that it is all for good. I would drive this negative energy into a positive energy for Chennai's improvement, my effectives, to fulfill my entrepreneurial dreams.

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